Mama Wisdom

I can't believe that Miss Allison is 7 weeks old! Time has certainly flown. I have been surprised at how much easier mama-hood is the second time around versus the first time. As a mother of two, I'm certainly far from being an expert but I feel like I have learned a lot between baby #1 and baby #2. Since I have a number of friends who have recently had or are getting ready to have their first babies, I offer these pieces of advice as food for thought:

• Everyone will tell you to enjoy your baby and the chaos that arrives with them because they will grow so incredibly fast. They are correct that time will fly in an entirely new way after your baby arrives. The adage that the days are long but the years are short is very true when it comes to parenthood. I would also agree that you should enjoy your baby as much as possible, even though that can be tough at times.
• This, too, shall pass. I remember standing over the crib and sob-crying at 3 am several times after Andrew was born. A fussy baby combined with sheer exhaustion can be overwhelming. I felt certain I would never sleep again. Just remember that this is temporary (see the first point).
• You may not feel the instant magic that Hollywood portrays and that is okay. It doesn't mean that something is terribly wrong with you. I remember feeling very guilty because I didn't feel a lot of "magic" right after Andrew was born. I was tired and I felt awful. Of course, I loved him more and more with each day. Parenthood is a huge adjustment, so take it easy on yourself and don't freak out if everything isn't rainbows. You may have moments when you wonder what in the world you have done with your life (I know I did). Frankly, I still have those moments when I daydream of running off to nap my days away on the beach but those days are much, much less frequent. Don't we all love sleep and indulging in our hobbies? Yes. I call BS on anyone who claims that they just love parenthood 100% of the time.
• Breastfeeding is hard. And it hurts in the beginning (despite so many books saying that it doesn't). I found it to be much more emotionally taxing at times than I ever expected. It is also incredibly rewarding as it is a bond that no one else can truly have with your baby. I fully believe in the benefits of breastfeeding but it doesn't mean that there is anything wrong with formula either. If breastfeeding doesn't work for you, that is okay. There is entirely too much mommy guilt surrounding this topic! If you want to breastfeed, I hope you will try it. But if it isn't working for you, then there is zero shame in reaching for formula. You have to do what is best for you and your family above all else.
• Hold your baby. This sounds like silly advice, but I don't think I hardly held my first baby in the first couple weeks. Sure, I held him when I nursed him, but that was it. There were so many people visiting and everyone wants to snuggle the baby. I felt bad saying no, but it really meant that I hardly got to snuggle him during that time. I was much more selfish this time around and have thoroughly enjoyed my snuggle time.
• Finally, enjoy your baby and try to embrace this crazy time. It really will pass so quickly. People often wax nostalgic about the time with their young kids being the best days of their lives. I agree with them, but these days are also very trying at times. Cut yourself some slack where you can and do the same for your spouse. Also, not everyone loves babies and that's okay too. It just means that your best times are still ahead of you :-)

Tiny Fluff

The last bit of pregnancy is long, exhausting and emotional. But the excitement of bringing a tiny baby home is thrilling too. One of the things I'm most excited about is using my newborn cloth diapers. I mixed up our stash a bit from what we used with Andrew and I'm pretty stoked to try the new stuff out. For Allison, I have the following:

24 Diaper Rite newborn prefolds
24 Green Mountain Diaper preemie prefolds
2 Snappis
4 Blueberry Mini Coveralls
2 Bummis Super Brite covers
3 newborn Proraps
2 Thirsties XS covers
4 Swaddlebees Capris, size 1
12 newborn Swaddlebees Simplex

This sounds like a lot (and it is a pretty good-sized stash) but I don't expect these will all fit at once, either. I know there is a lot of size variance in the covers in particular. And I'm not even sure we will use the preemie prefolds. Our newborn prefolds were too big and bulky on Andrew for the first couple weeks so we used more disposables than I liked. I bought the preemie prefolds for a great price since they are seconds (diapers with minor flaws) and figured we would have them on hand in case our newborn diapers are too big for Allison too. The price for the two dozen preemie prefolds was less than the price of one box of newborn Pampers, so why not get them? Seconds sales are awesome!

This is a newborn Swaddlebees Simplex. These didn't exist when Andrew was born but I'm really excited to try them in Allison. I'm planning on bringing her home in a Giraffe one just like this one :-) I am also pretty excited about my first-ever cow-print diaper.

Finally, here are some of our prefolds and covers. Isn't tiny fluff just the sweetest?!

A Work in Progress

Man oh man, has God been working on me lately! I feel like there are so many things that God is telling me and trying to change within me that it can feel overwhelming. The biggest challenge lately is simply to have faith in Him. Do I have faith? Of course I do! But do I still worry? Yep. And I know that He wants me to worry about nothing and give everything to Him. Anxiety has been a lifelong struggle for me but God has freed me of so many little worries over the years. But what about the big stuff? Things like losing a close loved one or the thought of me passing and leaving my children motherless. I know I should have complete faith in the the Lord's plan but those things still terrify me. And I feel guilty even admitting my anxieties because a "good" Christ-follower shouldn't have here fears, right??

Ultimately, I felt these same fears after having A and experiencing several weeks of complications. The Lord healed me but also blessed us with another child which we weren't sure we would ever have, especially in the early days after A was born. But I face some of the same challenges and risks again, plus a few new ones. Stastistics are on my side that all will be well. And I trust my doctor. But I am still anxious. I realize that everything is ultimately in God's control, though. I have prayed many nights about everything with this baby and I generally feel like all will be well...but then that fear creeps in. So I pray some more. The big prayer I have been praying recently is just to hear God's voice over the enemy's. I feel confident, calm and assured that all is well and will be well when I focus on God's voice. Then, the enemy creeps in, exposing my vulnerabilities and bringing in his friends, doubts and fear.

God reassured me in a big way recently during my daily devotion. I have been reading Jesus Calling and love it. While praying for several days about my guilt regarding my fears, God gave me this devotion:

Yes God, I hear you. What is God working on within you?

Baby Bump at 18/19 weeks

Almost halfway there. And definitely wearing this shirt for the last time for a few months!

Little Mr or Little Miss?

Next week should be an exciting week for our house - we will find out the sex of Bean 2.0! As many of you know, we did not find out the sex with our first child so this is a whole new experience. The anticipation is building...will this baby be another boy or a girl? We shall see!

The comments and assumptions of society re: gender have been a bit surprising to me. One, that we automatically want a girl. (Honestly, we would love to have a daughter so that we could experience parenting both sexes but I know many parents who prefer one sex over the other or simply have no preference at all.) Two, if you have a boy, at least he can be close to A. Huh? My husband and his sister, who is one year older than him, were very close growing up. Likewise, I know many sets of siblings who are close in age but not close at all, even if both are the same sex. I tend to think that closeness is dictated by personality versus gender. Three, if you have a girl, she will be super-girly and decked out in pink all the time. Honestly, I hope not. I can't imagine encouraging a daughter that she is a "princess" and should only wear pink. But again, I tend to think that kids are who they are. Just today, I watched A run around outside wearing his bike helmet like it was a fashion statement. I would never encourage that one but hey, safety first, right?? 

I'm the Bag Lady

I've been on a pointed search for a new beach bag (really, more of a pool bag for me).  Between looking online and in every store I can think of, it hit me - I am the bag lady. I mean, it's not like I don't have a bag to use for the pool because I have tons of bags. But I love to have options that will work for many different purposes. I have travel bags, diaper bags, work totes, gym bags, purses for going out, everyday purses, etc. You name it, I have something that will carry it. The abundance of options is embarassing. I think I have a problem.

Thinking back over the years, I think I've always been this way. It all started with my Strawberry Shortcake tote when I was about four. Sure, I was small but it nicely held a couple books and my favorite strawberry lip gloss. You know, the essentials of a kindergartner. Then, I had the purple duffel that saw me through many grade school sleepovers. And who could forget my first set of luggage - it was red pleather. Yes, folks - pleather. I can't say I'm too worried about what ever came of it. I still fondly remember the Esprit bag of middle school as well. It was the cool way to carry your books, even though it nearly broke my back.

My latest fascination is Vera Bradley. I used to loathe the VB bags, thinking they looked so old lady-ish. But then, I started noticing a few patterns that I actually *gasp* - liked! Still, their prices seemed outrageous to me so I didn't get too interested. Then I had a baby and seemed to hate every diaper bag I tried. I saw a VB bag on my local Craig's List that looked like it would work well for a diaper bag and I bought it. I was quickly hooked! The quality is really, really good. And I love that the bags are washable. Plus, there are bargains to be found on them as they've been making them for 20 years and there are lots of retired patterns (I prefer the newer ones, personally). Since that first purchase, I've bought several more bags (sorry, my husband reads this and I refuse to self-incriminate by providing an exact number). Plus, I'm seriously thinking of buying another VB bag to use as my new beach bag. Just one more bag, really...

Getting Down & Dirty With the Truth About Cloth Diapering

Ever since I was a child, I planned on cloth diapering. My parents cloth diapered me and they always spoke pretty positively of their experiences. Add to that, my desire to live with the fewest chemical exposures realistically possible, especially for my baby, and I was all about exploring cloth diapering. When I found out I was pregnant, I envisioned the old fashioned system my parents used - prefolds and rubber pants. I hoped there were better options but was willing to consider these, especially if I could find a way to stay at home with my baby. I quickly discovered that there were loads of options for diapering my child! And that this would be totally doable. There is a lot of false information about cloth diapers which seems to have permeated our modern culture, though. I'm here dispel some of those false ideas. Here goes...

 1. Today's cloth diapers involve rubber pants and other antiquated supplies. Technically, they can if you want them to. But I don't know of a single mama who chooses to use rubber pants. Options abound and diapering can be as easy as you want, with many diapers functioning as a single piece which is used just like a disposable. And with options as adorable and simple as these, who would ever choose rubber pants? See below for images of the Swaddlebees Capri covers, some of my personal favorites! The Capris, like many covers, can fit for a long time. (I bought these when A was around 9-10 months old and I expect they will fit him through potty-training.)

 2. Cloth diapers are unsanitary. Wrong. Diapers should always (in my opinion) be washed in hot water with the proper amount of detergent. This alone will kill most bacteria. A splash of bleach can also be used sporadically (and should be used if there is yeast or Staph infection) if needed. Beyond that, the dryer or the sun will further sanitize the diapers. Did you know that the sun's rays do that? They also help to make stains disappear, which is handy for diapers and kid clothes in general. Cloth diapered kids tend to have fewer rashes and avoid the exposure to controversial toxic chemicals such as dioxins. In recent years, many questions have also been raised regarding the safety of the absorbent gels used in disposables. Furthermore, many cloth diapers are breathable, which is healthier for baby's skin. The chemicals found in disposables are linked to cancer, reproductive problems, chemical burns and skin irritation. 

3. Cloth diapers don't work as well as disposables. Sorry, but this one is wrong too. With any diaper (cloth or disposable), a good fit is imperative! This usually involves trying a few out to find out what works well for your baby. But with the right diaper, the dreaded blowout is rare!. Honestly, my son as yet to have a blowout in cloth. Don't get me wrong, we've had the occasional leak, including poo leaks, but they have been few and far between. Talk to any parent who has used both cloth and disposable diapers and they'll assure you that cloth will win this fight every time.

 4. Cloth diapering is expensive. Did you know that you can expect to spend approximately $2,400 diapering a child from birth to potty training? Please note that this is just the cost of diapers, not including disposable wipes and accessories like the Diaper Genie. Cloth diapering costs vary greatly based on the number of diapers purchased and the brand/type. A baby can be diapered with cloth for as little as $200. There are a plethora of options but a full stash of big brand all-in-ones (one of the most expensive cloth options) only costs $800, so it's still far cheaper than disposables. And the diapers can typically be used through multiple children or sold to recoup some of the original investment - you certainly can't do that with disposables! Many parents (myself included) also use cloth wipes, which saves even more money.

5. I send my child to daycare, so I can't cloth diaper. Not necessarily. From what I've read, laws on this subject vary greatly between states. Some states completely prohibit cloth diapers in childcare facilities (why, I have no idea) while others have little to no regulations on the subject. I've been very pleasantly surprised that every daycare I have used or seriously considered welcomed them. This has shocked me since I live in an area where very few parents use cloth. Plenty of providers will use any diaper you provide but I'm a proponent of using a simple, disposable-like option such as an all-in-one or pocket diaper and always providing a clean wet bag do store them. These aren't the cheapest diapers but they are the simplest to use. I would certainly find out what your daycare's parameters are before buying a stash. Cottonbabies.com offers the full line of BumGenius diapers which are very daycare and babysitter friendly. One of them, the Elemental, is shown below. (Forgive the messy picture, but I wanted to show all the layers, which are sewn to the diaper. Just snap it on baby and go!)

6. Cloth diapering isn't really very Eco-friendly because of the extra electricity and water required for washing. There is certainly extra laundry involved with using cloth but it is only 2-3 extra loads per week, as I wash every 2-3 days. Unless you have multiple children in diapers, you really shouldn't need to way more frequently than this. There are many different scenarios with regard to laundry cost but the actual cost differs greatly based on your cost of utilities. You don't need a fancy washer to use cloth. In fact, the old fashioned top loaders are generally considered the best washers for getting them clean. And most detergents can be used. For us, our utility bill has gone up since having our son but it has only gone up a very small amount (maybe $10-15 a month?). Not all of this increase is related to diapers as he generates plenty of dirty clothes and bedding too. And there is obviously additional wear on your washer (and dryer if you don't line dry). On the flip side, there are never late night diaper runs (which also require fuel and wear on your vehicle). When one considers the paper, water and petroleum products that go into making disposables, shipping them and getting them to and from your home, cloth wins again, hands-down.

Like many things in life (and parenting in particular), there is no right or wrong. Cloth diapering has definitely been good for my family, but I realize it isn't the right solution for everyone. I am obviously passionate about cloth, personally. I just hope that new or soon-to-be parents will consider the issue objectively rather than from assumptions.

These Are a Few of My Fav-or-ite Things - Baby stuff

A year ago at this time, we were creating baby registries, setting up a nursery and trying to sift through what seemed like a never-ending sea of baby advice.  After a few months in the trenches, I'd say that most things marketed to new parents are completely unnecessary, although some of them can make your life easier. This is a list of a few of the items I'd recommend for any new parent. (Current parents, feel free to comment below as well.)

I'm convinced that a high quality stroller is worth its weight in gold. This is one area where many parents skimp, though, and I don't think they should. You will likely use your stroller for at least a couple years per kid, so be wise with your investment. We have the Baby Jogger City Mini ($199) (shown below) and love it!  There are many other nice strollers out there but we chose this one for our everyday use (mall, outdoor festivals, trail/city walks, etc). It's very lightweight, folds easily with just one hand and takes up minimal room in our trunk. The City Mini is easy for me to get in and out of the trunk and all of the material comes off and is machine washable. I've been thankful a million times over that I didn't settle for the travel system stroller I initially looked at, which would've been about $75 less. I only recommend the City Mini specifically because of its relative low cost compared to other high-end strollers.



Ergo Sport Baby Carrier ($115). I love this carrier! I have always found babywearing to be extremely handy for shopping trips and errand running (much easier than lugging the heavy infant seat around). And A really likes to be able to watch people as well. The Ergo Sport has been great as it is ergonomically correct for little ones' developing hips (many others are widely criticized for not doing this) and it puts the baby's weight on mom's hips, not on her back. For me, this means I can comfortably carry A around for an hour or two without being exhausted or in pain.



Nose Frida ($15.99). Yep, a snot sucker. That's what it's called. Gross, yes. Effective, yes.  It works better for me because you can keep suction going longer and get it angled differently than the bulb syringe. I also like that you can fully take it apart and clean all of it and replace the filters, unlike the bulb syringes. I say "me" because my husband still won't touch this thing despite the fact that there is NO snot anywhere near your nose ever (see replaceable filters).



Boogie Wipes ($3.79 for 30, although we tend to tear them in half as they're quite large). Okay, so I thought these were one of the silliest products I'd seen (why not just use a wet wipe??)  Part of me still agrees, but I gave these a whirl after several friends raved about them. They are moistend with saline solution and are very good for cleaning a little nose on the go, especially when that nose doesn't want to be cleaned.  Catch them on sale and throw a package in the diaper bag, I don't think you'll be disappointed.





Booginhead Pacifier Holder ($4.99) These are just simple little pacifier holders. What makes them awesome is that they come in a variety of cute patterns, will work with any style pacifier (many holders use snaps which don't allow you to use pacifiers with just holes in them) and they're washable. A bonus is that these are not giant, like many of the other holders I've seen which are 2-3" ribbons that look ridiculous on teeny babies. We've invested in a couple for our Binky-addicted son.

Bumkins bibs ($6.95-$10.94) I was first drawn to these bibs because of their adorable prints (Dr. Suess, anyone?) but their prices steered me away. So I settled for a couple of basic waterproof bibs from my local Target.  I later spotted the Bumkins bibs on a mommy bargain website for about half price, so I bought a couple of the sleeved bibs. (Really, sleeved bibs, need I say more??) They are very full-coverage with plenty of room to grow.  Well, about two months later, the cheap bibs are curling and ratty-looking and the Bumkins still look brand new. More importantly, the cheap bibs are not machine washable and the Bumkins are.  I've since purchased a Superbib from Bumkins and love it too. I plan to buy more as I feel these are actually cheaper in the long run and are far, far more convenient.


Annabel Karmen Masher & Bowl ($6.95) This is a simple little set but we loved our one so much we bought a second. Both get used frequently at our house for preparing simple meals for A (this is especially great for fruit and cereal in the mornings). Just put your fruit in the bowl (cooked, if necessary) and mash it up. Feed baby from the bowl. Very handy.


Cloth diapers. I won't elaborate on this subject too much as it's a large enough topic to easily demand a post of its own. But I couldn't write a post on my favorite baby items and NOT include them, as I love our cloth for a variety of reasons. My personal all-time favorites are Swaddlebees Econappis which are shown below




















I hope this post has been helpful to you if you are in the throes of baby planning/shopping.  Feel free to ask me any questions if you'd like. And I'd love to hear other parents' opinions and their favorite products.

Baby, baby

Babies are nothing short of amazing.  I am reminded of this as I watch my own baby grow and change with each passing day.  It's fascinating to watch him absorb the world around him and react to it. His own reactions vary but we're really beginning to see his personality.  Stalking our dogs and plotting to get the remote or our phones are among his current favorite pastimes.  He has also learned to fake cough, which I find absolutely hysterical. He'll do it, then look at me, usually smiling and wait for my reaction. When I tell him he's ridiculous he giggles and giggles.  If I fake cough, he'll laugh and imitate me. I'm obviously very entertained by his fun game (probably more entertained than he is, truth be told). He's also rolling and half-army crawling to get into everything while da-da-da'ing all the way there. At just seven months old, I am constantly asking myself where my baby has gone? Like most moms, I'm sure I'll ask myself this question for the rest of my life.

When you have a baby, everyone tells you that babies grow up so fast, but I never really understood what they were saying until I had my own child.  Even in those first few weeks when he was growing and changing by the day, hormones and exhaustion made it easy to miss the big picture. But it is crystal clear to me now. I am sure it will be even more apparent as he learns to walk, talk and becomes more independent. For today, I will try to absorb all the snuggles and baby giggles (and fake coughs) that I can.